TODAY I AM ALIVE.
Ten days in a four white-walled hospital ward with no windows and daylight would not be anybody's desired experience of life, but in my case, I was lucky that the duty of life care shown to me by the nurses and doctors was beyond exemplary and the near-death Covid experience will be a constant reminder of my own mortality.
However ill I might have been, there were always patients who were more unwell. The consultant in charge of the ward Dr Susan Bloch was the Empress of all she surveyed making life and death decisions for her patients on a daily basis. Some recovered - the writer is one of them - others did not. She was the ultimate Roman Empress with patients waiting for the thumbs up or down regarding her exit strategy. If the thumb was up and you were allowed to leave – it was a Covid ward with no exit - then the relief was palpable. For others the dreaded stomach ventilator, from which the majority did not survive was the only alternative.
In this environment, the little things became important. Little words of comfort with your patient neighbour or worrying when the night lights will turn off, nervousness about the restriction by nurses on the pee bottle that you could use at night and the constant beeping noise from the medical machines that are there to monitor your progress.
This was a journey like no other and my thumbs up from the consultant allowed me to lose my fleeting friendships but to move away from this environment into the sunshine at home with my children and friends at hand once more with sleep not disturbed by the sickness, pain and suffering of others.
The only ray of sunshine was the incredible quality of nursing some of whom went beyond normality to try and make their patients comfortable. One or two were being somewhat draconian, but they too have suffered from the long Covid journey. They feel strongly that the vaccine has helped those with the recovery process and has taken away some of the severity of the disease. The agonising hardship that they have seen over the last year and a half was traumatizing and beyond acceptable, but that is the Covid journey, that affects everyone in some form with the lucky ones able to live life another day.
